A Most Suspicious Pair
by Infidel Pumpkin
Summary: One can only wonder what they're for. A Suzalulu one-shot that is rather cracky!


One-shot, yay! I know, I know, I should really finish up my other fanfiction, but this came to me randomly! (I can't even finish it yet anyway, I still need to do things.)

This fanfiction has a fantastic story behind it, so please actually read the author's note this time! So, I was talking with **Neo Diji **(I luffles you!) and we (or more like she) was interested in how tall Zero was compared to Lelouch's normal height. So, some researching occurred, and we found out _Lelouch walks around as Zero with four inch heels._ Then I was talking with my OTHER friend (who doesn't have a account, and I also luffles!) and she suggested I write a one-shot similar to this one! So, by the combined efforts of two people who don't know each other, this was born! OOCness such as an overly flirtatious Suzaku and a shy, unintelligent Lelouch may cause turning heads and o.0- faces. Take it for what it is, a crack!fic! It's also incredibly pointless! Without further delay, please do enjoy! I apologize for any mistakes I may have missed.

(And I hope the title of this caught you off guard. You know what I mean. Oh, and you can make up whatever you want to fit with what Suzaku and Lelouch did. Be as dirty or innocent as you want with it!)

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_A Most Suspicious Pair_

"I still can't believe I got you to do that." Suzaku trumpeted with a sense of pride in himself as he strode into Lelouch's home, walking just a few inches behind him. "I remember when I actually got you to go into one of those port-o-potties, do you remember that?"

"Of course I remember; I was traumatized by the combined stench and filth." Lelouch wrinkled up his face in disgust, remembering the experience all too clearly. "And it's really not that impressive that you convinced me to… you know… in, uh… public." He decided to add, but now he regretted doing so as he felt his face flush bright red. He internally cringed at the sound of Suzaku's amused chuckle.

Luckily, Suzaku was kind enough not to broaden Lelouch's embarrassment by continuing to discuss the subject, not counting his remark. He calmly took off his shoes and set them beside Lelouch's, who had already placed his own neatly in the next space for them, after a few of Nunnally's favorite pairs and what Suzaku deemed to be Sayoko's loafers.

They both climbed the many stairs to the second floor, remaining in a mostly comfortable silence. Suzaku understood that Lelouch liked silence more than 'meaningless conversation', and left the extravagant entryway as quiet as Lelouch wished it to be. After reaching Lelouch's room, however, that silence disappeared.

"Suzaku, don't let me do that again." Lelouch muttered, sitting himself down on the end of his bed. To his luck, C.C. wasn't anywhere to be found, which meant she was most likely roaming around the school grounds. As long as she wasn't in his room at that moment, he was satisfied. He nearly laughed as he realized that on any other day, he would have wanted her locked up in his room, but now wasn't the time.

"What do you mean?" Suzaku asked, sitting next to Lelouch. He reached up to caress Lelouch's face, but was rejected the luxury when Lelouch snatched his hand and pushed it away.

"You know what I mean!" Lelouch hissed, his eyes angry and glaring. "I don't want people finding out about us. What if people had seen us, doing things like that in broad daylight? Do you know what kind of trouble you would be in if those terrible Britannian boys found out you were gay, on top of everything else?"

"Yes," Suzaku frowned, taking his hand back from Lelouch's rather weak hold, "but I would be much more worried for you."

"Then why would you just risk it like that?" Lelouch argued.

"I don't know." Suzaku nearly whispered, looking down for a few moments before sending Lelouch a stronger expression. "I don't know, but I do know that I still love you, no matter what other people think."

Lelouch sighed, running a hand through his hair, and smiled bitterly. "I just think it's too much of a risk." Suzaku nodded in complete understanding. He understood their situation, and he most certainly did not want what they had to be torn apart by other people's wishes.

"Do you mind if I kiss you here, though? I know it's not even what got you so nervous, but the temptation gets worse every second you sit in front of me on the bed like that, and I-" Lelouch cut him off by covering his mouth with his hand.

"You talk too much." Lelouch smiled covertly and removed his hand quick enough to steal the first move, being small, innocent kisses. Suzaku felt incredibly teased and kicked up the intensity, urging for Lelouch to open his mouth for him. Before he could even make it this far, however, Suzaku's eye caught an intriguing sight in its farthest corner, and he released his hold on Lelouch's hair (which he hadn't realized he'd fisted) and pulled away to fully capture the sight he'd thought he'd seen.

"What are you doing?" Lelouch asked, confusion in his tone as his lover broke away instantaneously, interested in something other than him for once. He had no idea what could have pulled Suzaku away so quickly, until he remembered what was in the corner of his room. _'Shit!'_ He panicked inside, trying to think of a way out of what he'd just trapped himself into. _'I knew I shouldn't have been so lazy, how am I going to explain this?!'_

"Uh, Lelouch?" Suzaku waved his hand in front of Lelouch's face, attempting to pull him out of his dream-land. Lelouch snapped himself back into reality at the sound of Suzaku calling him rather than the action of distracting his vision, but felt dread rise in his chest as Suzaku waved an incredibly high-heeled boot in front of his face. "What in the world are these for?"

"Oh, uh…" Lelouch had to think quickly. Unfortunately, his usual incredible thinking skills tended to disappear when it came to situations with Suzaku, or Nunnally. "They're Sayoko's. She must have left them in my room for some reason." Lelouch released his captured breath, hoping to convince Suzaku enough to leave them alone.

The heels were suggested to him by C.C. Lelouch had agreed that having higher heels on when he was dressed as Zero would have further disguised his appearance, and had bought a pair of simple black ones to practice in around the house. He figured that four inches would be more than enough of a disguise, and so he'd picked up the cheap boots to test out his skills. Lelouch turned out to be exceptionally good at walking, thus the four inch heels stuck with the planned outfit. He'd carelessly thrown the boots across his room into the corner before bed one night and hadn't put them away. This was apparently his karma acting up again, by allowing Suzaku to find them.

"Okay then, why in the world would Sayoko need boots like these?" Suzaku responded, trying to measure the heel in his head correctly. "Three and a half, maybe even four inches? Who would ever want to torture themselves so much?"

_'Someone trying to hide their identity.'_ Lelouch muttered internally, his facial expression turned sour. Hoping to make the situation unfold itself, Lelouch kept with the flow. "I don't know what she does outside of taking care of the house for me." He tried to keep his tone unknowing and light.

"Oh, I get it." Suzaku sat back down at the bed's end, observing the boot he currently held in his hand- he'd left its twin in the corner. His mind confirmed that it must have been closer to four inches tall- he'd done enough measuring in school to be able to estimate its length by sight alone. But as he took a second and third look at the shoe, he noticed how its build seemed much more masculine than feminine. He looked at his own shoe, then looked at the boot- they didn't seem too far from each other in size, and he wanted to hope Sayoko didn't have feet his size. Suddenly, he found himself doubting Lelouch's claim. "Hey, Lelouch?" Suzaku began, his voice sounding far off as he still contemplated his decision.

"Hm?" Lelouch responded, internally nervous, but stoic on the surface.

"I don't know if I really believe you." Suzaku frowned, putting the shoe down next to his own foot. "Does Sayoko have feet as big as mine?"

_'Why did you decide to grow a brain today?' _Lelouch complained to himself before giving up. He couldn't hold on much longer with Suzaku looking at him like _that_. Total innocent disbelief was hard to deny on his lover's face. "Okay, fine." Lelouch sighed dramatically, rubbing at his forehead. "They're mine. But don't get the wrong idea! _Suzaku!_" Lelouch scowled as he saw Suzaku's face twist into perversion.

"Now I want to know what you do with those shoes. I won't feel betrayed if you go out to clubs dressed as a woman just because you can." Suzaku smirked, finally feeling like the one in control when it came to mind games and speech. He knew how incredibly shy and childlike Lelouch could be when it came to more sexual topics.

Lelouch stammered painfully at the notion of cross-dressing like that, but then he remembered that he had a history of doing so in the past with the Student Council, so there wasn't any way to completely dispel that idea from Suzaku's perverted head. "Because I can? Of course not!"

"Oh?" Suzaku crept up upon Lelouch's lap, thoroughly enjoying himself. "Because you could do so if you wanted to- you make a beautiful girl _and_ a beautiful boy. But I'll let you do whatever you want," Lelouch held back a sigh of relief, "so long as you still come to me at the end of the day." Lelouch had nothing to retort with, so he simply snorted and pushed Suzaku off of him, who started laughing uncontrollably.

Lelouch glared at the boot at the foot of his bed, then at the boot in the corner, then at Suzaku, who was still laughing. How did a simple pair of boots manage to mess his afternoon up so badly? Lelouch vowed never to take C.C.'s suggestions seriously again. It was obviously her fault for suggesting the boots in the first place, of course. "Can you put those things in my closet, please?" He asked of Suzaku, who was wiping tears from his eyes caused by the laughing fit. Suzaku nodded and picked up both boots before heading to the closet and opening its door.

"Hey, is there a dress in here?" Suzaku joked. Lelouch was at the closet in seconds.

"Out!" Lelouch barked, shoving Suzaku out of his room quickly.

He was never going to acknowledge the evil, patent leather-covered pumps again.

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So yeah, Code Geass doesn't belong to me. I don't know where my usual copyright thing is. Please review, thanks for reading, good bye!


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